Paying it forward

Well...  We went back to school and I don't know how I feel about it.   I have been struggling with leaving Claire with a sitter while I finish up my last year of school.  So I found two professor that didn't mind babies as long as they aren't a distraction.  So I toted Claire in her car seat across campus, and  I got a lot of really funny looks, but also a lot of kind glances of encouragement.  One girl even asked if she could carry Claire's car seat for awhile!  Huge blessing, I was feeling a bit lonely and really out of place, and she really made me feel safe again.  Thanks Liz, who is getting married soon.  I will probably never see you again, but I promise to pay the kindness forward.

   It all seems a bit overwhelming and I really don't want to do it.  Do I stop going to school and then go back in two years and finish with BYU's online programs?  Or do I plow through and finish by August?  Hateful.  

My mother named me after the Biblical Queen Esther who saved her Jewish people.  I like to think Esther was scared to go before the King and ask for her people's lives, but her uncle said to her,  "...who  knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?"  I put this picture of Mary holding baby Jesus in Claire nursery to remind me that Mary was probably scared to raise Jesus the Christ, but she was chosen and she came at that time to be Christ's mother.  I am scared to be Claire's mom, but I feel chosen to "come at a time as this"

To my delight

Claire giggled.  (Note... I was trying to show her different sounds that a dog makes, and she thought it was so funny.

Oh the Drama

We love our Claire Bear, but sometimes she is a bit of a drama queen.  You better be careful, if you don't make her bottle the way she likes it, she will let you know.  (Well, she won't really yell at you unless you don't fed her... She loves food... Just like her momma.  

That battle begins

Dr. Phil once told a woman that she was fat because she liked being fat.   I decided to never watch Dr. Phil again.  I was fat because the fat fairy told me to be.  But sitting at Cafe Rio,  with my skinny friends, fork in one hand, Key Lime pie in the other, made me realize that maybe it's time to stop being a "self-proclaimed proud to be round girl" and just bite the bullet and do it... I, with the help of Core Rhythms and Weight Watchers, am on a quest to lose two pounds a week for nine months.  A total of 70 lbs.  HERE WE (we as in "I") GO!!!

Before

The Chicken

Dear Claire,

Too bad you can't talk and tell me what you want to be for Halloween... So you'll be a chicken.  

Love,
Mom

P.S.  I wanted to dress you as Madonna (w/o pointed boobs) but Daddy said no.... So Sorry....

You'll still be a chicken